Thinking of having another baby? Going from 2 to 3
It seemed like a big decision to go from two children to three. The jump appeared to be massive. A new car, not enough hands, another set of clothes to wash! I loved being a mum to my two children, what if a third altered the balance and I really didn’t have enough time to devote to each one of them?
My second child is a real adventurer, into everything and not afraid to get her hands dirty. She will go far in life as her determination will mean every dream she has will be in reach. If I had another baby would I still be able to devote all the time she needs or would I turn her into the ultimate, frustrated ‘middle child’? And what about the rest of life? Would I have time for anything else? Not to mention the many comments from others ‘you have one of each already’, ‘three’s a bad number’. There are a million reasons why not.
But what kind of life do I want for myself? What kind of life do I want for my children? I want a life which is full of activity and noise and laughter. I want my children to have a support network behind them so tight and varied that they can fall back on it no matter what the issue. I want my children to understand and respect the differences between themselves and others. I want them to respect others opinions but also learn how to negotiate and influence others to listen to their ideas. To be a leader when needed but also a follower when required. I want my children to be independent and realise that they have control over their own lives and achievements and happiness.
Am I more likely to influence this by having more children??? Who knows, but I do know that I will equally not discourage it by growing my brood.
So I am now a mum of three.
What can I say to those of you who are currently debating it or are in fact already pregnant with your third and worry about the changes ahead. I’m now 8 months in with three beautiful children all under five years old and I am in fact managing to function. There are challenges especially when all three are wanting me to help, cuddle, make a snack, wipe a bottom, build a tower, glue a toy back together, get the paints out, feed, all at the same time. There is a huge amount of noise in my house and a never ending mountain of laundry and dishes. There is bickering beyond belief, the type of disputes even the UN would find tricky. I never get to drink a hot or even warm cup of coffee and my patience skills are pushed to the max most days. Why is it that a toy that has never been played with for months suddenly becomes the one they all want? Or a bath that I had to struggle to get them into is now somewhere they never want to leave?
But….. my children have this incredible bond. The first thing they do every morning is rush through to find the other ones. When needed my oldest will lovingly play with his youngest sister so I can get the other one dressed on a morning. In the play park they stand up for each other and help each other to climb to the top or pushed on a swing. They understand that I cannot do everything at once and their turn has to be waited for or even better they try and discover what they can do for themselves. The noise in my house may be intense but most of the time it is a happy, child led, noise as they all discover more about themselves and each other.
So in conclusion, yes life is more crazy, a lot more crazy with three. But the craziness is just because my workload has increased not because three is a bad number and definitely not because there is any kind of resentment form one sibling to another. So I guess there is only one more question to ask…….
……… should we have a fourth??